Categories
Love

A Father’s Unwavering Love: Always Here for You, My Daughter

Dear Daughter,

I hope this letter finds you well and in good health. There are so many things I wish I could say to you face-to-face, but for now, I’ll do my best to express what’s in my heart.

First and foremost, I want you to know that I love you more than words describe. I think about you every day and miss you more than I can express. The years we’ve been apart have been incredibly painful for me, but my love for you has never wavered, and it never will. No matter the distance or circumstances, I will always be here for you.

I know you’ve been through so much, caught in the middle of a complex and brutal divorce that has continued since 2019. I can only imagine how tough it’s been for you to navigate such a situation, and I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this turmoil. I wish I could take away all the hurt and confusion, but even in this mess, I want you to know you have a father who believes in you and cares about your well-being deeply and unconditionally.

I also know that you’ve suggested strategies to cope with the ongoing saga and all the stupidity that has continued beyond my control. You’re wise beyond your years, my daughter, and I trust you’re finding ways to manage despite the chaos around you. It’s unfair that you’ve had to be a part of this, but I do not doubt your strength, resilience, and ability to rise above it. You are strong, and though it may not always feel like it, you have the power within you to create a life that brings you peace and happiness.

Please know that when you ever feel ready to talk, I am here with open arms, prepared to listen without judgment. I’ll always be here for you, whether it’s to help you strategize further, to support your decisions, or to remind you that you are loved.

I look forward to the day we can reconnect, and I have faith that day will come. Until then, know that you are always in my heart and on your side.

With all my love,
Dad

Categories
Gratitude

Embracing the Magic Through Gratefulness

This is a Magical World

Dear Daughter,

Why do we fail to see the Magic?

The probability of being born on this Earth as a human is almost 1 in 400 trillion1. We are born with a support system (i.e., A mother’s womb) that brings us to this Earth. However, after birth, we forget about this support system that Mother Earth provides. We fail to see the magic. Why?

This world is magical, filled with wonders that can leave us in awe if we choose to see them. The beauty of a sunrise, the laughter of a child, the simplicity of a blooming flower—all these moments are tiny miracles in our everyday lives.

Negative Emotions are a Distraction

However, to truly experience this magic, we must clear our minds of negativity and embrace a positive outlook. It’s easy to get caught up in our challenges and struggles, but it’s essential to remember that the magic is always there, waiting for us to notice.

The key to unlocking this magic lies in our mindset. Negative thoughts can cloud our perception, making seeing the beauty around us difficult. By consciously letting go of negativity, we open ourselves up to the endless possibilities and joys life offers. What are the negative emotions we must remove from our lives:

Remove Sadness: A feeling of grief, sorrow, or unhappiness. We did not choose to be in this world. Being in this magical world is a gift.

Remove Anger: A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Remove Fear: A feeling of anxiety or apprehension about something terrible happening. Remove fear of failure.

Remove Guilt: A feeling of having done something wrong or harmful. What is in the past is gone. Learn your lessons, remedy your present, and move on.

Remove Shame: A feeling of humiliation or embarrassment.

Remove Jealousy: Resentment or bitterness towards someone who has something you want.

Remove Envy: A feeling of longing for something that someone else has.

Remove Resentment: A feeling of bitterness or anger towards someone who has mistreated you.

Remove Frustration: A feeling of irritation or annoyance.

Remove Disappointment: A feeling of sadness or disappointment.

Fill your mind with Positive Emotions.

This isn’t always easy, but it’s a practice worth cultivating. It begins with small steps—acknowledging a positive aspect of your day, focusing on solutions rather than problems, and surrounding yourself with positivity.

When we focus on the negative, we block out the light. We miss the beauty that surrounds us. We become closed off to the love and joy around us. But when we cultivate a positive mindset, we open ourselves to the world’s magic.

Most importantly, to see the magic in this world, one must always be grateful. Be grateful for every small thing in this world. Why? Because magic awaits us in every little thing at every moment of our lives.

Magic awaits us in every little thing at every moment of our lives.

Magic unfolds when we are grateful. Gratitude is a powerful force that can transform our lives, shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have. When we are thankful, we attract more goodness into our lives. So, dear daughter, remember to carry gratitude in your heart no matter where life takes you. By doing so, you will always be able to see the magic in the world around you.

Gratefulness and thankfulness are powerful tools. They help us to appreciate the good things in our lives, no matter how small. They remind us that we are not alone and that there is always something to be thankful for. So remember, dear daughter, to keep your heart open and your mind positive. And always be grateful for the magic that surrounds you.

Categories
Uncategorized

Love Beyond Distance: Navigating Change as a Family

Dear Daughter,

I’m writing to you with a heavy heart. I was incredibly disappointed that we weren’t able to spend the weekend together as we had planned.

I was excited to pick you up on the 4th of July while visiting Northern Virginia. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear back from your texts about this. On the 5th, I tried again to see if I could pick you up early but still received no response.

With no answer from you, my fiancée offered to reach out. When she did, your mom’s response focused on her disapproval of her rather than our weekend plans. It hurt to see you join forces and dismiss my fiancée’s effort to connect with you.

She’s kind and intelligent, and I genuinely believe she could be a great role model. However, you chose a different path, refusing to visit because of her. I even visited your house to discuss things, but you wouldn’t come.

I understand that being a teenager is tough, and divorce can be challenging. We can’t control things in life, but through challenges, I try to remember the amazing things in the world and that everything happens for a reason. My faith strengthens me, and I know God will continue to provide.

My hope for you is that you can embrace your dreams, work hard, and trust in a higher power. Just know that no matter what, my love for you and my fiancée’s love for you will never waver. We believe you have the strength to overcome any obstacle.

With all my love,

Dad

Categories
Love Never Give Up Vision

What Does it Take to Build a Great Relationship Between Girl and Dad

Building a solid relationship between a daughter and her father can be a rewarding and transformative process. Here are some strategies that can help foster a strong bond between them:

Hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains
  1. Communication: Encourage open and honest communication between the father and daughter. Create a safe and non-judgmental space where they can express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Active listening and empathy are essential in understanding each other’s perspectives.
  2. Quality Time: Encourage the father and daughter to spend quality time together. Plan activities that they both enjoy and that allow for meaningful interaction. This could include going for walks, playing sports, cooking together, or engaging in hobbies they share. Regularly setting aside dedicated time for one-on-one interaction can strengthen their relationship.
  3. Respect Boundaries: Acknowledge and respect each other’s boundaries. Teenagers may need their personal space and autonomy. Encourage the father to be supportive while allowing the daughter to assert her independence. Respecting boundaries can help build trust and establish a healthy dynamic between them.
  4. Shared Interests: Encourage the father and daughter to explore and engage in shared interests. Discover activities or hobbies they enjoy and facilitate opportunities for them to participate together. This common ground can provide a foundation for connection and create shared experiences that strengthen their relationship.
  5. Supportive Environment: Foster an environment that promotes support and understanding. Encourage the father to actively participate in the daughter’s life, including her academic pursuits, extracurricular activities, and personal interests. Show genuine interest and provide encouragement and guidance when needed.
  6. Positive Role Modeling: Fathers play a vital role in shaping their daughters’ lives through positive role modeling. Encourage the father to demonstrate respect, empathy, and practical communication skills. Modeling healthy relationships and values can significantly impact the daughter’s development and the strength of their relationship.
  7. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the relationship between the father and daughter is strained or underlying issues affect their connection, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Family counseling or therapy can provide a safe and structured space for them to address any challenges and work towards building a stronger relationship.

Remember that building a strong relationship takes time, patience, and effort from both the father and daughter. Encourage them to approach the process with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to learn from each other.

Categories
Never Give Up

Insult the Dad

The winter break started on Dec 13. As per the visitation order, Dad had right to pick up the girls on Dec 13. The elder one had swimming Friday evening and Saturday afternoon. Dad was excited to see her swim. Dad took pictures and videos. Dad stayed overnight at a friends house so that he could pick up the girls on Dec 14. After the afternoon swim meet, Dad went to Mom’s apartment. Girls refused to come. Dad texted their mom about the situation. Mom said she can not do anything when girls do not want to go with the Dad.

Dad protested with the Mom. Girls have been alienated extraordinarily by the Mom and now she has thrown her hands up. She refused to take the responsibility of parenting the girls. Mom and girls came into Dad’s car to have a conversation. Mom’s body language suggested she was flippant about the whole situation. She laughed as Dad tried to talk to the girls. The elder one said – I don’t like you and the younger one said that she would come if you stayed in the city. Dad realized there was no winning here. Dad thanked them and drove away.

Dad felt utterly insulted and humiliated. Dad felt sad for the girls as they were being deprived their Dad and they were trapped in a dangerous emotional conflict and Mom was not about to give up on her ultimate aim and rage to destroy the Dad anytime soon. She was not about to free the girls so they could love their dads.

Dad will never give up and continue to try to free up the girls.

Categories
Uncategorized

The Day of Fun

Oct 30, 2022 – Dad arrived at about 11:30AM. The little one did not come with Dad on this day. The elder one came to spend some time with Dad. She always had fun with Dad. She wanted to go to IHOP. Dad and the elder one drove to IHOP. Unfortunately IHOP had a long wait list. She decided to go to KFC instead. Dad and her went inside KFC and ordered some yummy greasy fried chicken and ate them with a lot of relish. Thereafter, we went to the mall to watch a movie. She wanted to watch Prey for the Devil. She likes horror movies. This was an interesting movie. She liked it and we had a lot of fun watching it together. Dad would try to scare her in the middle of the movie. The theatre was practically empty. After the movie, she wanted to drive the car. Dad had the “Student Driver” tags. They drove around town on her learner’s permit. She was scared to get on the highway. They did not get on any major highway but they did get on smaller highways where she could speed upto 55 mph. She was a good driver and Dad was very proud of her for driving so well.

Categories
Love Never Give Up

Lunch at Olive Garden

On October 16, 2022, Dad was told that he had a chance to have lunch with his daughters. He was excited to have any time with his daughters. Dad drove two hours to get to their place. He picked them up at 1:00PM. They all went to Olive Garden for lunch. Dad had collected some great video and pictures of both the daughters. He wanted to make them realize how great they were in sports. After ordering the food, Dad showed them how well the elder one swam, how well she trained, how well she ran. Dad showed the little one her swimming, her gymnastics and her winnings. Dad had sincerely hoped that they would look at those video and pictures and perhaps have a desire to get back into sports and if not sports, they would earnestly start working towards their fitness.

After the conclusion of the lunch, the elder daughter wanted to drive the car. She had got her learner’s permit last week. Dad went to Walmart and tried to make a sign that said student driver. One sign was placed at front and another at the back of the car. The elder one drive the car on the public roads for the first time. She navigated through the lights well. Dad was proud of her.

The little one also wanted to drive. However, the elder one asked to be dropped back to the house as she had some homework to finish. As the elder left, the little one changed her mind and went back to the house behind her sister. Dad asked for hugs and none came. Dad left them at about 4:30PM.

This was a good improvement over the last meetings. This meeting lasted for 3.5 hours. Dad is hopeful that the girls will come with him to his house for a weekend next time. Dad will never give up.

Categories
Love Never Give Up

Starbucks Meeting

On Sept 30, 2022 Dad met with his two daughters and his Ex at Starbucks. The meeting lasted about 20 minutes. Dad drove about two hours to meet them. As he entered Starbucks, they were sitting at far left corner of the store. Four of them had not been together since June of 2020. Dad greeted them with enthusiasm and excitement and asked for a hug from the daughters. He was refused a hug by both the daughters. Dad sat down and waited for the things to unfold.

The daughters were told to state their grievances by their mom. Dad listened to their grievances patiently and quietly.

First grievance was that Dad’s girlfriend is annoying. Another grievance was that girlfriend should interject herself in a conversation between dad and daughter. Third grievance was the little one felt uncomfortable when she was offered ice-cream by girlfriend’s mom because she is allergic to nuts and egg and she felt unsafe. Fourth grievance was that the little one was offered alcohol by the girlfriend.

There was no mention of how great of a time they had at the lake during the father day weekend. There was no mention of the great food, company and hikes during the trip. There was no consideration of the possibility of a misunderstanding in all this.

As is done in a divorce case, attorneys are brilliant in assigning the worst possible meanings to the other person, Dad felt a cold chill in his spine as he realized his daughters were being sucked into this litigation game.

The elder one was eager to leave Starbucks as she had plans for the evening. As she said her peace, she was ready to bolt. Dad asked for a hug as they prepared to leave. No hug came through. Dad waived them goodbye as they left the Starbucks.

Dad drove back for two hours to get back to his house. This was supposed to be Dad’s weekend. All Dad got was a 20-minute grievance meeting and a hope that the girls would come one day to his house and spend time with him for at least one weekend every 15 days. Dad is making sure he remains engaged and available in his daughters life no matter the circumstances. Dad has learnt that his daughters knowing that they are cared and loved and wanted by their dad can play a crucial role in their development. Dad remains hopeful for his daughters happiness, well being and future prospects.

Categories
Love

To Daughters with Love

You are the answer to every time I looked up at the sky asking for a miracle
You are the answer to every time I looked up at the sky asking for a miracle

You are the answer to every time I looked up at the sky asking for a miracle

Unknown
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us father and daughter
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us father and daughter

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us father and daughter

Unknown
All fathers are teachers of life: they teach their daughters what they can expect from men
All fathers are teachers of life: they teach their daughters what they can expect from men

All fathers are teachers of life: they teach their daughters what they can expect from men

Unknown
The laugh of a daughter is a favorite symphony of a father
The laugh of a daughter is a favorite symphony of a father

The laugh of a daughter is a favorite symphony of a father

Unknown
They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps
They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps

They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps

Unknown
A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there but a guiding light whose love shows us the way
A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there but a guiding light whose love shows us the way

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there but a guiding light whose love shows us the way

Unknown
My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it
My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it

My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it

Unknown
You’ve been a blessing from the start… I love you daughter with all my heart
You’ve been a blessing from the start… I love you daughter with all my heart

You’ve been a blessing from the start… I love you daughter with all my heart

Unknown
On the day my daughter was born, I realized that the sparkle in her eyes was my guiding light and her smile, my life’s purpose. I love you.
On the day my daughter was born, I realized that the sparkle in her eyes was my guiding light and her smile, my life’s purpose. I love you.

On the day my daughter was born, I realized that the sparkle in her eyes was my guiding light and her smile, my life’s purpose. I love you.

Unknown
There is this girl who stole my heart and she calls me Daddy
There is this girl who stole my heart and she calls me Daddy

There is this girl who stole my heart and she calls me Daddy

Unknown
“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters, there is something which there are no words to express.” – Joseph Addison
“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters, there is something which there are no words to express.” – Joseph Addison

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters, there is something which there are no words to express.” –

Joseph Addison
My dearest Daughter. Just watching you makes me realize how beautiful my life is. I love you
My dearest Daughter. Just watching you makes me realize how beautiful my life is. I love you

My dearest Daughter. Just watching you makes me realize how beautiful my life is. I love you

Unknown
Categories
Vision

What does an Extraordinary Life for Your Daughter Mean to You?

Creating Amazing Bonds between Fathers and Daughters
They wear your heart on their sleeves. How do you define an extraordinary life for them?

An extraordinary life is a life of absolute balance. Humans are complex and yet not so complex. I love a simplified model that I learned from the great Tony Robbins. Humans are primarily driven by the following needs. I call them engines (Being an engineer, I can relate to them better this way). Let us discuss them below.

Our primary engines.

  1. Certainty, Security
  2. Variety, Excitement, Thrill
  3. Significance, Ego, Self-Importance
  4. Love, Connection, Belong somewhere
  5. Growth – Self-Fulfillment, Self-Improvement
  6. Contribution to Society and Humanity, Giving, Making a difference in other’s life’s.
  7. Spirituality/God – A Connection with the magical world around us. Making sense of the unknowns.

Every human needs fulfillment of all six needs to achieve a balance. However, some engines are stronger than others.

The Engine of Significance: A person driven by the engine of significance can achieve that by shouting at you, getting angry at you, suing you, holding a gun to your head, etc. This is always a dangerous engine and it can operate without our knowledge. It can be engaged productively or destructively. Destructive engagement causes havoc to the self and others. I find my energies are engaged positively and productively when I am angry or upset at a person or a situation. However, it is a conscious decision. Where does your daughter figure on this engine?

The Engine of Certainty: A person primarily driven by certainty is risk-averse. I used to be that person at one point in time. I have changed over time. This engine has become less and less important for me over time. However, all of us desire certainty over many things to operate successfully. Sun comes up every day. Earth is stable and in the same orbit every day. There are four seasons etc. etc. Where does your daughter figure on this engine?

The Engine of Variety, Excitement, and Thrill: If you like to jump off the cliffs, you have this as your primary engine. Any thrill seeking activity is driven by this engine. All of us some need for thrill. The degree of thrill depends upon how strong this engine is within you. Are you a thrill junkie? How does your daughter figure on this?

The Engine of Growth: Self-fulfillment or Self-actualization is one of the greatest engines we have. Most humans engage with this engine positively. Few humans may achieve this through destructive activities as well. This is one of my strongest engines. This can fuel us and make us restless. We can sometimes identify this with “Call to Destiny” or “Destiny Calls”. Great civilizations have been built through this engine and we need to feed this engine in every human being with good fuel. How does your daughter figure on this?

The Engine of Love: We all wish to be loved and understood. We all wish to belong somewhere. This engine bonds families and brings people together. Fuel this engine and you can have a loving family, a loving society and a loving community. How does your daughter figure on this?

The Engine of Contribution: The act of giving signifies that engine. When we contribute our time, effort and resources, this engine is active. This need is actualized when we have addressed the basic engines. People with significant resources turn to giving to actualize this need. Where does your daughter figure on this?

The Engine of Spirituality: This is a magical world. As an engineer, I have a deep appreciation of the laws of nature and the magic surrounding us. We all live in a magical bodies. We always have a desire to figure out the unknowns and mysteries surrounding us. That is the engine of connection to our spiritual selves. Our desire to connect with God is driven by the same engine. It is a powerful and positive engine for the most part. How does your daughter figure on this engine?

Answering the above can help us figure out a plan of action for us and our daughters. A simple worksheet can start the thoughtful process. Let us get started.